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Woman skips family thanksgiving to avoid online childcare

Members of a popular internet forum have rallied behind a 22-year-old woman who wants to skip her family’s Thanksgiving celebration.

In a viral Reddit post posted to r/AmITheA******, Redditior u/tgbs22 (otherwise known as the original poster, or OP) said that she has long been considered free childcare during family reunions and detailed his plan to stop this trend in its tracks.

Entitled, “[Am I the a******] for not going to Thanksgiving because I know I’ll be stuck as a babysitter?” the post has received nearly 12,500 upvotes and 2,000 comments since Nov. 17.

“I am the youngest cousin of [my] family,” OP began. ” A lot.

Going on to explain that her family historically celebrates Thanksgiving at her aunt’s house, the original poster stated that her cousins ​​immediately left their children for her upon her arrival and she had to tend to their needs throughout the gathering.

The original poster also said that she repeatedly expressed her displeasure with the arrangement, but her complaints went largely unheeded.

“My cousins ​​put their kids in the playroom and start drinking and I get stuck watching the kids all day,” OP wrote. “Every time we cry or have to go [to] the bathroom or one of them is fighting, I’m stuck dealing with it. They also sit [me] at the children’s table.

“I complain to my mom every year and she tells me it’s not like that, and it’s a big deal to give parents a day off,” OP continued. “I don’t look forward to Thanksgiving anymore because it happens every year.

“My boyfriend [invited] me to his family for Thanksgiving this year and decided to go,” OP added. not having me there…and that everyone will miss me.”

Some consider the holiday season to be the most wonderful time of the year.

For others, however, the last six weeks of the year are exhausting, contentious and full of stress.

Young woman feeding a child during a family reunion. Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA****** defended a 22-year-old who chose to go to her boyfriend’s Thanksgiving party instead of babysitting at her own family’s house.
nicoletaionescu/iStock/Getty Images Plus

By placing more emphasis on time spent with loved ones and rekindling ties with relatives not seen regularly, there is an increased potential for family conflict, often due to unmet expectations for holiday splendor.

“The holidays bring a lot of heightened expectations for everyone involved,” said Dr. Lise Deguire, psychologist and award-winning author of flashback girlTold Newsweek. “We come to these events with this expectation that everything is going to be wonderful. And often…it’s not”

“There can be a lot of anxiety and stress these days, and a lot of expectation and hope,” added Deguire.

Holidays can also be particularly difficult for young adults.

Although they operate as independent adults and adults, the perception of older parents can leave those in their early and mid-twenties in an awkward void between the children’s table and the vaunted upper echelon of the adulthood.

And sometimes, in scenarios like the one portrayed by the original poster, young adults at family gatherings double as free babysitting, only there to relieve parents during the holidays.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors spoke out against this kind of treatment and applauded the original poster for taking matters into their own hands, regardless of the fallout.

“[Your mother] had years to listen to you, and now she’s reaping what she sowed,” Redditor u/JesterYorrick wrote in the comment to the post, which received over 15,500 upvotes.

“She’s a bit weak if she doesn’t give you any options and then gets surprised when you take one when someone else offers it to you,” they added.

Redditor u/whitewer, whose comment received more than 5,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.

“She’s not mad that their precious little girl [isn’t] will be there,” they wrote. “It’s that their free babysitter won’t be available and parents will have to be parents.”

“And [she] won’t be like the hero offering free childcare for everyone,” another Redditor added, receiving over 3,000 upvotes.

“Are they going to miss you, or having an unpaid nanny?” Redditor u/Background-Aioli4709 chimed in.

Newsweek contacted u/tgbs22 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via We can ask experts for advice and your story could be published on Newsweek.


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