The ex moves into the couple’s driveway | Breaking News Updates

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Dear Abby,

I love my husband, but I’m tired of being a second-class citizen back home. It all started when we bought a van from a friend of mine. We talked about different things we could do with it – fix it up a bit and sell it, or use it for vacations – but somewhere along the line it was suggested we let my ex, “Paul” , we buy him because he is homeless and chooses to let everyone else take care of him.

The van is now repaired. Paul lost his job and now lives in the van – in my driveway. The problem is that he doesn’t stay in the van. It crashes on my couch, uses my electricity, water, etc., and now eats my food. I told my husband it was not healthy for my mental well-being.

My husband and I own our own business, and Paul has been involved in it as well. My husband says he can use the aid and it gives Paul money to move. The only problem with that is that my ex doesn’t use the money for the bills – he wastes it on junk he doesn’t need. I’m sick of raising a 41-year-old adult. To help!

– Fed up with Oklahoma

You are not a second class citizen. This arrangement sounds crazy. Because it’s interfering with your marriage, tell your husband that the situation is affecting your sanity and insist on a deadline by which Paul will be out of there. The guests, like the fish, start to stink after three days, and Paul far exceeded that. He has a van, so whether or not he has saved enough money for a place of his own, he won’t be homeless. Your sanity is more important than your husband who has an extra hand in the business.

Dear Abby,

I have several creative friends who have written a book or made a music CD. I am asked to read or listen to these creations and submit an online review. The book was written about a very difficult divorce, and my “friend” portrayed her ex using gossip (and awful) information that I knew was not true. She placed all the blame on her ex, when she was the one who committed adultery (a fact she conveniently omitted from the book). The music CD wasn’t to my taste either – my friend can’t sing.

How do you handle these review requests? So far I just haven’t submitted a review because I’m not going to lie or give a bad one. But what do I say when they ask?

— critical criticism

Tell your author friend that even though she’s a talented writer, you’re not comfortable endorsing her book because it’s being used as a weapon to make her ex-husband look bad. Point out that if her book is successful, he might retaliate by suing her for libel, and you don’t want to be one of them. As for your musician friend, all you have to say about the CD is that “it’s clear the singer has music in his soul”.

In the future, when asked to write a review, decline stating that because you are a friend you cannot give an unbiased review. Period.

dear Abby

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

This article originally appeared in The Providence Journal: Dear Abby: Ex moves into couple’s driveway

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