Internet commentators were quick to speculate after a 25-year-old woman found her sister’s husband somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be.
In a viral Reddit post posted to r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/throwparking3245 (otherwise known as the original poster, or OP) said his brother-in-law was supposed to have missed his father’s funeral due to a conflicting business. trip and detailed his shock at discovering that he had never left town at all.
Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for taking a photo of my sister’s husband’s car outside of his workplace and sending it to him?” the post has received over 6,500 upvotes and nearly 700 comments in the last 10 hours .
“My… dad passed away a few days ago,” OP wrote. “My sister’s husband…said he couldn’t attend the funeral because he had to go on a business trip, which made my sister even more devastated.”
Continuing to explain that his sister is currently pregnant, OP described his brother-in-law as an “A-level workaholic” and said his devotion to business has seriously affected his social life.
OP also said that on the day of her father’s funeral, she walked past her brother-in-law’s office and received the shock of her life.
“We drove past my BIL’s workplace at 8pm and saw his car in the parking lot,” OP wrote. “I couldn’t believe it.
“I took a picture of it and sent it to my sister. [She] was losing it,” OP continued. “Later I found out that my sister found out her husband was in town all the time but lied so he didn’t have to be away from work. funeral work.
“There was a huge explosion and he called me shouting saying I didn’t have to ‘harass’ him,” OP added. “My family [is] mad at him but also at me because they said i stirred shit up and caused more of my sister [stress].”
Grieving in any form can be devastating for couples and their loved ones.
But while it can be difficult to support a grieving spouse, it is imperative that partners make the extra emotional effort throughout the grieving process.
“Grieving can affect your spouse’s brain, including their emotional regulation, memory, attention, organization, and ability to multitask,” a psychotherapist and psychology today contributor Erin Leyba, Ph.D., says. “Grieving will likely have an emotional impact on your spouse by making them feel sad, depressed, irritable, or hopeless.
“If ignored, grief can take a toll on a couple’s emotional intimacy and stability,” she continued. “If you intentionally support your spouse while they’re grieving, it can strengthen and grow your bond.”
From simple gestures, like flowers or a handwritten card, to more practical endeavours, like taking care of extra household chores and increased physical affection, a supportive spouse can mean the difference between prolonged grief and the ability to to move forward.
However, an absent spouse can have the opposite effect, especially when a spouse bereaved by the end of the life of a loved one is preparing to welcome a child of their own.
Throughout the comments section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors praised OP for bringing his brother-in-law’s questionable behavior to light and speculated on his real fate on the day of his father’s funeral.
“[Not the a**hole]“Wrote Redditor u/ParticularReview4129 in the main comment of the post, which received nearly 11,000 upvotes.”[Brother-in-law] lied and got caught.
“Also, if he was supposedly ‘out of town’ where did he spend the nights?” they wondered. “Who was he spending the night with?
“I call it now,” replied Redditor u/Dry_Egg_4098, receiving over 2,000 upvotes. “He cheats.”
Redditor u/cheechie64, whose comment received nearly 3,500 upvotes, offered another possibility.
“I guess it’s a hotel near his work, so when he went to [work] he wouldn’t need to be on the road long enough to be spotted,” they wrote. “My dad used to do this a lot during family gatherings.”
In a separate comment, which received nearly 2,000 upvotes, Redditor u/Jumbee1234 cut to the chase.
“Sure [not the a**hole]“, they wrote. “Does everyone forget not only that he is lying, but that he is not there to support his wife during this difficult time when she needs him.
“He should be at home, not in [some] hotel pretending to be out of town,” they added.
“Your [brother-in-law] lied and he was caught,” echoed Redditor u/Huge_Industry_1259. “He doesn’t look like a big [brother-in-law] In any event; I mean leave him pregnant [and] grieving woman with a small child [because] he doesn’t want to miss work? Is he trying to cure cancer?”
Newsweek contacted u/throwparking3245 for comment.