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New mum supported for cutting off contact with her son’s grandmother: ‘No empathy’


Internet commentators have rallied around a new mother who said her son’s grandmother had been less than helpful since he was born earlier this year.

In a viral Reddit post posted to r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/almost30xoxo (otherwise known as the original poster, or OP) described the series of hellish events that have plagued his family over the past eight months and revealed the final straw that spurred the decision to completely cut his own mother.

Entitled, “[Am I the a**hole] for denying my mom access to her grandson because she refuses to help me?” the post received nearly 15,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments in the last day.

“My husband and I…are first-time parents,” OP began. “I had a difficult pregnancy.

Continuing to explain that her maternity leave was short and she has since been diagnosed with postpartum depression, the original poster said that she and her husband worked demanding jobs and helped take care of her. mother-in-law, who is in poor health. health.

The original poster also stated that, to add insult to injury, the couple’s home had recently flooded after a pipe burst.

Yet his mother still refuses to help him.

“My mum… lives an hour away and has never offered to help with anything…[she] wants to see the baby if it’s very little effort,” OP wrote. [asked if] she could come. But she had brunch plans.

“My best friend of over 25 is getting married next weekend…[and] the children are not invited because the place is not safe,” OP continued. “We finally found a babysitter…[but] the babysitter called Friday and canceled.

“I finally explained my desperation to my mum and asked her if she could keep Jack for 24 hours…I was in tears begging her but my mum said no,” OP added. “It was the straw that broke the camel’s back after months of no empathy…I’m going to cut contact and she won’t see her grandson.”

In addition to physical recovery and an infant’s need for round-the-clock care, many new mothers face a myriad of mental health issues, the most common being postpartum depression disorder, or PPD.

PPD, which can induce anxiety, sadness, panic, frustration and hopelessness, affects up to 20 percent of mothers, according to the Postpartum Depression Alliance of Illinois.

The Postpartum Depression Alliance of Illinois also reports that between 60 and 80 percent of mothers experience “postpartum blues” in the days and weeks after birth.

So while it’s always imperative that recovering mothers receive focused care and help for their baby, it’s equally crucial to provide strong emotional support and, according to the Cleveland Clinic, that support can range from from simply listening to encouraging professional mental health help. and treatment if necessary.

Mother with crying child. Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum have defended a new mother who cut her own mother after several disappointing cases.
AntonioGuillem/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Throughout the comments section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors advocated for mothers struggling with postpartum depression and defended the original poster’s choice to keep her mother from seeing her little one. – 8 month old son.

“Relationships are reciprocal and depend on many elements and require cultivation,” Redditor u/threeforagirl wrote in the lead comment to the post, which received nearly 41,000 upvotes. “If we neglect relationships…they wither and die.

“Your mother has chosen to opt out of all of this by refusing to help you when you need it,” they continued. “She doesn’t need to be in this cycle of help, love and support if she’d rather go to her yoga class.”

Redditor u/JudgeJed100, whose comment received more than 11,500 upvotes, offered a more pointed response.

“[Not the a**hole]”, they wrote. “It’s one thing to refuse to babysit or run an errand or whatever.

“But when your kid…calls you crying saying he’s scared of being alone and clearly distressed and you choose brunch? No. Just no,” they continued. “I would have cut my parents for that right there.”

“You were literally having a health crisis, and one of the people in your life you should be able to count on for support just disappeared,” added Redditor u/fzooey78, receiving over 5,000 upvotes. “It’s good for you to have drawn a boundary.”

Newsweek contacted u/almost30xoxo for comment.

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