I lost my ability to walk and now my boyfriend treats me like garbage

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. During all this time, he never once asked me if I was okay every time I hurt myself. I got used to it, you might say. Well, I recently lost the ability to walk and ended up in a nursing home for rehabilitation. My boyfriend came to visit, but never asked about progress. Also, when I showed him my progress, he didn’t act happy.

Now I’m home, and he treats me like garbage. I do not know why. When I mentioned it, he said he didn’t know why. Do I need to end this relationship to find someone who supports me and helps me get back to 100%? Where should I stay and work on this relationship? I am less and less happy every day. — Hurt in the Midwest

DEAR HURT: Your 11-year-old boyfriend is not nurturing. The fact that he doesn’t ask if you’re hurt or hurt shows that he lacks empathy. If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say he’s treating you like garbage now because he’s mad at you for needing his help and support. No amount of work on this will fix what his character lacks. Unless you want to be treated like this for the rest of your life, get rid of him.

DEAR ABBY: I have a colleague with whom I share an office. We are cordial, but not friends. The problem is that she chews gum most of the day with her mouth open and occasionally pops it. The noises she makes are extremely disturbing and they disgust me. I’ve started wearing headphones and listening to music as often as possible to muffle his noises, but it’s a bit gross and not practical for the whole day. I’m about to kick his ass. Is there a kind way to let her know about the problem without disrupting our working relationship? — ABOUT POP OFF

DEAR POP: Have a nice chat with that co-worker and ask her to let you know when she’s putting on some gum so you can put on your headphones. It’s better than popping your cork in frustration.

DEAR ABBY: I’m friends with a man in his late 70s, 20 years my senior. I’m worried about his mobility. It is an independent spirit that lives alone. Lately I’ve noticed his strength and balance are diminished, and I know falls are serious for older people. I told him my concerns, but he is proud and will not change his ways. Can you recommend a way for me to constructively talk to him about my concerns? — YOUNG GUY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR YOUNG GUYS: You have already tried to discuss it with your friend. You may be able to reach him if you TELL him that you have noticed his balance problems and that there is help for them. If he tells his doctor what is going on. A physiotherapist may be able to help him with his problem, but only if he asks.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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