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Gutfeld challenges the Democrats: they are “in bad shape”

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The Democrats are in bad shape.

What bad form? Well, if it was a person, this would be it.


The latest Fox News poll shows the president drowning on every key issue. He’s so underwater that the Secret Service had to catch him in a fishing net.

So look who they brought in to cheer everyone up.

It was either that or take Joe to Chuck E. Cheese, but they were afraid he’d choke on another pepper.

President Biden.
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

But it looked a bit sad.


Just $19 a day and you can save a pet. It was really depressing. Someone put “Old Yeller” to cheer me up. He looks like a 4-year-old boy who lost his mom at the mall.

It’s a little worse – he looks like Jesse Watters at his last class reunion. Biden has been ignored since he called Saudi Arabia, but I guess when things are bad, it has to feel like the good old days.

PRESIDENT BIDEN: Mr. President, welcome to the White House, man. It feels like the good old days.

Memories, like when your vice president, Jill, who is my sister-in-law, passed the New Deal and the Louisiana Purchase in one day.

Gutfeld challenges the Democrats: they are “in bad shape”

First Lady Jill Biden. REUTERS/Elisabeth Frantz
(REUTERS/Elisabeth Frantz)

So while you’re dealing with $5-a-gallon gas, Biden is waltzing down Memory Lane. It is also the shortest route.

Meanwhile, voter enthusiasm is at its highest level since 2010, when Kat just turned 30.

An NBC poll found a Republican advantage of 17 points. The last time anyone saw a gap this big, Evel Knievel tried to jump it. I wonder what Joe thinks about it.

FAKE PRESIDENT BIDEN: Oh yes. Sometimes I just like to take the Amtrak and pretend it’s the good old days. I’m not kidding, man. I’m serious. Listen, it’s a true story. Hey buddy. I’m serious, it’s a true story. It’s not a joke, I’m not kidding.

It’s so amazing. So, is bloodshed coming for the Dems? May be. But let me be a soggy blanket – something I was known for at camp.

It won’t be a blast if voters don’t finally see the real big lie: that Democrats care.

It’s a lie we’ve been taught since I was a kid like the tooth fairy, and everyone is beautiful. It’s what made me a liberal when I was just a svelte teen monthly model.

But when it came to compassion, the Republicans sucked and the Democrats ruled. The Dems cared more about the poor, the sick, the downtrodden, while the Republicans golfed in their all-white country clubs before digging into panda steaks and endangered spotted owl eggs, then they headed to a local orphanage and beat the crap out of a red-haired child in a wheelchair.

Looks like Mitt Romney’s autobiography.

Gutfeld challenges the Democrats: they are “in bad shape”

Matt Schlapp doesn’t think CPAC attendees want to hear from Senator Mitt Romney.

But that’s not true, and it never has been. But that didn’t matter because few people challenged the lie, and when they did, they were so bad at it.

Republicans were saying things like, “Hey, we don’t need panda steaks. They’re too gamey.”

Or, “The child in the wheelchair didn’t have red hair. He was bald.”

But the next election can be a game-changer if voters see the truth about Democrats, that in office Democrats have caused stark COVID inequality between maskers and non-maskers; the marginalization of parents, even calling them terrorists; an epidemic of homelessness fueled by untreated mental illness and addiction; the crime wave that turns cities into chaotic hells.

With this list, every Democrat stands to lose because all of these issues are part of the liberal wheelhouse — a wheelhouse greased by you, the taxpayer.

That’s what they claim to care about: children, the sick, victims’ rights, education. But really, it’s just a question of power, because in all the areas I just mentioned, life has deteriorated under the Democrats.

Yet they have been given more second chances than the criminals who attack people randomly.

It’s the only real red pill for all voters. Every place the left claims superior ground has left Americans dead or broke.

Coincidentally, these are the Democrats’ most reliable voting blocs.

Look at the new mayor of New York: so many promises, but so many b——-. He takes control of a city plagued by so many problems that liberals are supposed to solve: mental illness, homelessness, poor education.

And what does the mayor do? He trashes Florida and pleads for gay people to come back. But Mr. Mayor, what good is a pride parade if you’re walking on syringes?

Maybe clean up the subways before you start inviting people over. You put a welcome mat in front of a burning house.


And with children, it is no better. He has just decided to extend the mandate of the school mask for children under 5, which is anti-science and anti-kid. And he did so after exempting athletes and performers from the COVID-19 vaccine mandate.

So it’s one set of rules for kids and another for stars. Guess he knows parents of school kids are easier to bully than LeBron James or Jay-Z.

And besides, who wants a selfie with a masked 3-year-old? He’s not even famous.

It’s no wonder, then, that a new poll reveals that 59% of New Yorkers believe their families would have a better future if they “leaved New York for good.”

It’s a solution: Leave. Go to Texas, Tennessee, even Florida. Yes, mayor, have you been to Fort Lauderdale lately? It makes San Francisco look like Green Bay.

New York City better add a tax for people trying to move, but soon we’re running out of places to move. That is why this election is important.

All elections count, including school boards. Only the cities are in difficulty. It is a country.

So maybe it’s time. Instead of moving, we move them and show them how compassion is done the right way.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening commentary on the April 6, 2022 edition of “Gutfeld!”

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