Grieving widow praised after sleeping with brother-in-law: ‘Total gassy’
A Mumsnet user asked readers to “take it easy” after recounting a situation she recently found herself in with her brother-in-law, followed by “actually, I probably deserve everything I get.”
At the time of publication, 224 people have commented on Lyndsb’s post, in which she describes how her husband of 23 years died suddenly 14 months ago, leaving her with three children aged 12, 13 and 15. time for us,” she explains. “I’ve always been close to BIL (DH’s brother). I’ve known him for as long as DH. He’s been separated for 6 years and not in contact with his ex. Not in a relationship.” She goes on to explain how her three children recently stayed with their grandparents: “the first time they have been away from me since their father died”. After going out for dinner and drinks with her brother-in-law and mutual friends, she suddenly needed to go home and he followed her.
After a few drinks “we were both a little emotional and BIL took me in his arms. One thing led to another and we slept together. He stayed the night and held me all night. Sunday morning was awkward and I found an excuse to pick up the kids He said he was going to get dressed and head He texted and called me a lot yesterday I didn’t talk to him on the phone, just a text.
“We’re both confused and upset. I don’t know what to do. I’m a horrible person. My DH was the love of my life. I can’t stop thinking about what I did.”
According to the Census Bureau, the average age of a widow in the United States is 59. Some sources believe the age has been lowered in recent years by COVID, as in 2019 there were 8.9 million widows, compared to 2.6 million widowers.
Newsweek spoke to Amira Johnson, a licensed social worker at Atlanta-based Berman Psychotherapy. “Losing someone you love can change your world,” she said. Newsweek. “It can cause feelings and emotions that you couldn’t even imagine having.” The complicated and painful feelings one can have after a trauma like this can also lead to doing something that might not feel right or acceptable given the situation, Johnson suggests.
“Losing a loved one is difficult in general, but especially when you have children involved and you have helped them through their grieving process while dealing with your own. I want to start by saying that there is no no “timeline” for grieving.deals with it in her own way and in her own time frame.So for her to still be confused or have buried emotions months later is normal.
“Dealing with grief is difficult, so here are some tips for coping with grief: Accept a bit of solitude because it’s completely normal. But don’t cut yourself off completely from the world. Be gentle with yourself and try to not judging yourself for not doing or being “better”. Embrace all the emotions you feel and remember that those feelings come and go. Note that everyone handles grief differently, so what might work for some may not work for others.And that’s okay.
User Aeio said, “Be kind to yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. When you’re ready, chat with him and clear the air. Please be kind to yourself .”
User Terrariatime commented, “My friend’s friend did this too after losing her husband. It’s really understandable, it’s the closest you have to him. Don’t beat yourself up, the grief manifests itself in many ways.”
User BoredOfLooking wrote: “This is a very common thing that happens after a spouse/brother is bereaved. I only see two bereaved people finding comfort in each other, I I don’t see any of you doing anything wrong. Your husband is still the love of your life, nothing has changed about that at all.”
Newsweek was unable to verify the details of the case.
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