A woman has been slammed after her twin sister revealed online that she had stopped her from being a bridesmaid at her wedding, simply because she was divorced two years ago and was at newly single.
The woman shared on social media that her sister, Stella, and her husband-to-be told her that her status as a “divorced woman” would not be a good look for their marriage.
While her sister and future brother-in-law ostracized her for being divorced, divorce is not uncommon in the United States. Findings from the divorce resource and legal center Divorce.com found that in 2023, the United States had the sixth highest divorce rate in the world, with 40-50% of married couples choosing to file for the divorce.
“Basically, Stella and I are identical twins, and we’ll both be 30 when her wedding takes place this fall. I had her as my bridesmaid eight years ago and she promised me that I could be hers when her marriage came,” the woman posted on Reddit.
“My marriage fell apart a little over two years ago, due to a stillbirth and my husband’s infidelity. My parents and my sister were the only reason I didn’t get married. drowned from stress, loneliness, and total abandonment by my wife. I went to therapy, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression, quit drinking, and I owe a lot to my amazing sister. This is the reason I kept suing my ex for child support when he suddenly stopped paying.
The woman went on to describe in the now viral post how her ‘incredible’ sister changed her mind once she got engaged to Jon, 35, and how the couple decided to stop her from being the maid of- honor at their wedding as she had once been promised.
“Stella and Jon got engaged last year. The biggest caveat is that they have to get married in Jon’s family church, a full mass with communion. The family is on board because it’s going to be a very big wedding. Tonight Stella had invited I assumed it was to officially ask me to be her bridesmaid,” the woman wrote.
She recalled the moment she learned that the coveted role of the wedding was going to someone else: “Jon was with her, weird because Stella didn’t mention at all that he was coming to our texting about dinner. We kissed as usual but Jon didn’t. In a nutshell, Jon said the following: “My parents found out you were divorced when they asked you why your husband did not come. They’re not comfortable with you being a bridesmaid anymore because it’s not okay ‘give a good face at church if my family hears about the divorce.'”
Shocked and hurt by what he had to say, the woman said she started crying on the spot. In an attempt to comfort her, her sister reassured her that not being the bridesmaid would relieve her of the stress. A few days after the embarrassing conversation, the Redditor decided to officially withdraw from her twin’s wedding and attend only as an underage guest.
“A few hours ago, I texted Stella to tell her that I would not be at her wedding party at all. It was my decision. I would not take my daughters out, but I will not be there. attend only as a guest,” the woman continued.
She added that her sister would not take her seriously and continued to bombard her with demanding calls and messages. The Redditor shared that Stella called her decision to back out of the wedding an “overreaction.”
Looking back on the heated discussion, the woman shared that she felt extremely “blindsided” to hear that she could no longer take on the role of bridesmaid, and hurt to the point of feeling “heartbroken”. fist”.
Can the twins be reconciled?
It’s clear from the Reddit post that the siblings had a falling out over the upcoming wedding, but is reconciliation possible if Stella continues to invalidate her sister’s feelings? Dr. Carole Lieberman is an internationally renowned psychiatrist and author who also served as a clinical faculty member at UCLA, Department of Psychiatry. lieberman said Newsweek how the pair might approach making amends and moving forward.
“When family, friends or lovers have a disagreement or argument, it can have lasting consequences. They can either talk and get to the bottom of things, causing understanding and closeness, or they can drift apart,” explained Lieberman.
“The timing of a reconciliation attempt is important. Too soon and the pair may still be too heated to listen to each other explain their side. Too late and there is the risk that each of them will drift off, forgetting how point the relationship was, and never trying to bridge the gap between them.”
The US-based psychiatrist went on to say Newsweek that the real healing from this breakup will begin when one of them apologizes to the other.
“It helps to start with an apology, even if you don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. It could just be an expression of feeling uneasy that there’s this misunderstanding between you. Then you can just suggesting a general time and place to get together to talk, maybe a place that holds fond memories,” Lieberman said.
“If you find you can’t work it out on your own, then you can include someone who cares about both of you, or a psychotherapist to mediate. Whatever the breakup is about, it can almost always be healed,” she added. with optimism.
What are the comments saying?
Since being shared on the social media platform on March 31 by @Twin_Bridesmaid, the post, which can be seen here, has been upvoted over 6,500 times and commented on over 1,700 times. The majority of Redditors engaging with the post chose to side with the woman and validated why she chose to back out of the marriage.
One user echoed Stella and Jon’s judgmental attitude, writing, “Honestly, I wouldn’t let the kids be in this wedding either, they don’t need to be subjected to the high and mighty attitude of the in-laws,” in a comment that received more than 11,200 upvotes.
“As painful as it sounds, please don’t let your innocent children be props to Stella’s in-laws,” another user agreed. “Their religion and conservatism does not take precedence over your health and well-being and that of your children. Hang in there.”
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