A father-of-two has asked Reddit users if it was unreasonable not to want to pay his daughter’s tuition, after his son had already failed several of his classes and struggled to graduate .
Reddit user u/aitadaughtercollege posted on the AITA subforum (Am I The A******?) to explain that he didn’t want to pay his 19-year-old daughter’s tuition at the University of Cambridge because of his “poor investment” in his son’s education.
The United States spends the second highest amount on higher education per student, at $35,347 per student, according to Statista. The UK is just below the US, spending $29,688 per student attending university.
The son, who is now 26, was supposed to major in computer science, but after failing numerous courses he changed his major to something his father deemed “less lucrative”.
“Didn’t want to make the same mistakes with my daughter,” the Redditor wrote. “She also wants to do IT and last year she entered a foreign university in the UK, which she says is similar to Stanford there (Cambridge).
“I didn’t want the same thing to happen, so I told him I couldn’t help him pay for it and go to a local state university or community college and then transfer.”
With the father only offering to pay her tuition ‘under certain conditions’, the teenager has postponed entry to Cambridge University, the UK’s top university and the seventh in the world, while she works at get a loan.
The Redditor admits he can afford to help his daughter, but he’s reluctant to waste the money on “an overseas degree,” especially since he claims his son was “the brightest” when “She just pushed herself the last few years of school.”
He was heavily criticized in the comments for treating his children as financial investments rather than supporting their choices.
Andrew Latham, certified financial planner and editor of Supermoney.com, said there is a fine line for parents to navigate, but supporting their children is fundamental.
“By striking a balance between supporting their children’s dreams and ensuring a wise investment in their education, parents can help their children achieve their goals while setting them up for long-term success,” Latham said. . Newsweek.
“Parents shouldn’t feel pressured to fund programs that they don’t think are a good investment in their child’s future. While parents shouldn’t try to dictate their child’s choices, they can provide guidance and support to help their child make informed decisions about their education.”
Since not all students can have their tuition covered by their parents or family, Latham suggests using internships, scholarships, and grants to help pay for tuition. It can also teach students to take control of their finances, rather than being dependent on their family.
The Redditor post has received over 11,000 votes and over 4,600 comments since it was posted on March 11. The vast majority of users sided with the daughter and suggested the father do some research on Cambridge before ruling out his daughter’s chances.
“Looks like he’s using his kids as a retirement plan since the son has chosen to move on to something ‘less lucrative’. Has OP realized that each of his kids are unique and have different skill sets? He automatically thinks that because the son didn’t make it, his daughter won’t.one of the many comments on the post reads.
Another frustrated person wrote: “His daughter once WORKED HARD, because she had less natural ability – and he punishes her?
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