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A woman’s long-held opinion of her brother-in-law is revealed

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Dear Abby,

My sister and I have always been close. She’s married to a man I’ve always found bossy and arrogant. I also suspect he is emotionally abusive because of the things she has confided in over the years. These include days of silent treatment, refusing to celebrate her birthday because he doesn’t believe in it, and discouraging her from taking a job she was interested in. He refuses to go to consult and says that all the problems between them are his fault. . I hold my tongue and try to tolerate it because she chose to stay with him.

He recently ran a marathon and connected with us and many others via social media so we could follow the entire two-day event from start to finish. After a day of constant “ringing” on my phone, I found his need for attention exaggerated and unfollowed him. My sister was very upset about it. She said she was embarrassed and hurt. When she asked me why I quit, I told her the truth.

Now our relationship is damaged. I apologized and tried to work things out, but she is now fully aware of my true feelings about her after seeing and hearing how he treated her over the years. Should I have “kept the peace,” as my dear late mother always said, and keep quiet, or should I have been honest about my feelings?

– Protector of Sis

Because you say you and your sister are close, I’m surprised you held your tongue about her husband’s behavior for so long. You did nothing wrong by disabling marathon updates. We shouldn’t have expected you to be held hostage for two days because your brother-in-law’s ego needed a boost. You’ve been honest with your sister and, in my opinion, you haven’t done anything that requires an apology.

Dear Abby,

My partner and I have been in a long distance relationship for about a year. After doing occasional harassment on social media, I learned that he still lives with his ex-boyfriend, despite the fact that he continually complains about his “roommate”, who he never refers to by his name.

On top of that, we have made a commitment over the past year to call each other at least once a day. Over the past three weeks, there have been times when I haven’t heard from him, although I’ve seen him active on social media (especially on weekends). It’s got to a point where I stay up all hours, hoping to hear from her. Should I bring her up on this, or is this just the end of the “honeymoon phase”?

— Waiting on the phone in Canada

Not only is it the end of the “honeymoon phase”, but it may also be the beginning of the end of this romance, because it seems that your “partner” is not as eager to contact you as you are. are to hear from him. Long-distance relationships can be difficult, and you may be happier if you partner up with someone local.

dear Abby

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

This article originally appeared in The Providence Journal: Dear Abby: A woman’s longstanding opinion of her brother-in-law is published

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